


Ghosts That We Knew *Edited*

by heyweareahurricane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Android, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Coming Out, Depression, Drinking, Implied Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Robot, Side Zayn/Liam, Tattoos, robot!louis, side larry - Freeform, university!harry, university!liam, university!niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 17:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4531434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyweareahurricane/pseuds/heyweareahurricane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a secret. It's not his fault, he didn't ask for it. He's just the ghost of someone who once was</p><p>But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view<br/>We'll live a long life<br/>- Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons</p><p>*re-edited and doubled the length*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts That We Knew *Edited*

**Author's Note:**

> Hey if this seems familiar I just re-edited my story because I felt like I could add so much to it and its been left to sit for a couple of years. 
> 
> Louis has a secret. It's not his fault, he didn't ask for it. He's just the ghost of someone who once was
> 
> But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view  
> We'll live a long life  
> \- Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons

 

Louis sighs leaning against the bar looking at the mostly empty restaurant. They just finished with the lunch rush and things had settled down before the dinner one. Only a couple tables were occupied still and Ed had them covered.

He looked at Zayn who was wiping down his last table, waiting for him to finish up. Zayn seemed to feel his stare because he looked up and smiled, "are we done?"Louis pulled out his phone and scowls at it. "5 more minutes" he grumbles at which Zayn laughs. It's not like Louis doesn't like his job, it's generally easy and well paid, but he just wanted to get home. His feet were sore and he could hear his couch calling his name.

"Are you coming over tonight?" Louis asks tapping his fingers impatiently against the bar. Zayn walks over and nudges him "what do you think?" He says with a grin. Louis just rolls his eyes and laughs "are you sure you have a place to live cause you're always at ours".

Zayn leans against the bar and shrugs "what can I say your roommate is hotter than mine" he says.

Louis laughs "you don't have a roommate" he reminds him. Zayn looks at him pointedly and smirks before walking into the back of the restaurant. Louis chuckles again, and follows Zayn to the back to clock out.  

Zayn had met Louis at work and they quickly became friends. Zayn was one of those guys who looked tough but ended up being a huge softy. He reminded Louis of Liam, Louis's roommate and best friend. That’s why Louis had invited him over one day and the two just clicked. They had started dating soon after that and like people say the rest is history.

Looking at his phone Louis finds that it's exactly 4:30 and he can finally leave. The one good thing about Zayn always being over is that he has a car. Louis couldn't afford one and Liam was a university student so public transportation had quickly become their friend before Zayn entered their lives. The drive from work to the apartment was a fairly short one and Zayn always loved to crank the music. Louis closed his eyes and thought about how lucky he was to have his friends. After only knowing Liam for two years and Zayn just over one, they had all become inseparable. They were his family and Louis didn’t know what he would do without them.

 

Louis was filled with dread as he remembered the secret. His secret. Louis wasn't exactly human. He had a couple human/machine hybrid organs but the rest of him was all mechanical.The synthetic skin and visual features were top notch and nobody would be able to tell that he wasn't human. He was designed that way. He could eat, breathe and sleep. Louis acted like a human and the only thing saying he wasn't, was his internal hardware.

That being said his friends had no idea. Liam knew that Louis had a bad past and that he doesn't like talking about it so Liam doesn't bother to ask about it. The rare times he does ask, Louis goes into a pretty intense anxiety attack. Liam learned not to push and what subjects to avoid. Liam had warned Zayn on Louis triggers and they tried their best to keep Louis happy. Louis past had not been the greatest and it scared him to think what would happen if his friends knew what he was. How alone he would be if they found out. On his bad days he already felt like an outsider trying to fit in.

Robots that looked like humans had just started to make their way into society but it was still very new and most humans didn't approve of the idea. It scared them to think that technology was becoming so advanced. Along with that came the questions on the android rights. That if artificial intelligences deserved to have the same rights as a human. Or if they could understand human morality.

Zayn looked at him oddly when they got to the apartment because generally Louis wasn't a quiet person. Louis shrugged and Zayn let it go. Another reason why he love his friends is that they never pushed for information. They knew Louis would go to them if something was wrong. Unfortunately he just couldn’t tell them about this.

Liam greeted them both as they entered and Louis flopped on the couch. Zayn pressed a quick peck to Liam’s cheek before turning on the TV to a random show and sitting on the couch. "Pizza tonight?" Louis asked looking up at Liam who was standing above him.

"Yeah I called Niall, he's coming over later" he answered going to sit beside Zayn. Louis felt himself smile bigger. Liam had met Niall at school and he had fit in with their little group really well. Louis mostly loved Niall because he laughed at everything Louis said.

"He's also bringing over Harry" Liam said and Louis looked at him confused, he didn’t know a Harry. "He goes to uni with me and Niall. Curly hair, green eyes and he is hilarious, you're gunna love him Lou" Liam says smiling. Louis could see the nervousness in his eyes though. Louis generally kept to his close friends and was intimidated by the thought of new people. Liam didn’t know that it was because one of these new people might find out his secret.

Zayn's arm curls around Liam's waist pulling him closer and Louis rolls his eyes at the jealous reaction. "I don't want to witness this" Louis said gesturing to the couple "I'll be in my room, tell me when they're here" and he leaves the room before either one can say anything.

 

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As Louis lays in his bed he is overcome with a wave of loneliness. He's never really had anyone and in the past it was even worse.

 

It all started three years ago.

 

Louis was made for a family who had just lost their son. He looked exactly like their son and was programmed with his memories, all of his memories.

 

HumanLouis had killed himself after coming out to his parents. His parents had been furious and yelled terrible things at him before sending him to his room until he “stopped with all this nonsense”.

RobotLouis had every single memory and the ones from that night were the worst. Every single thought and feeling was ingrained in his programming. It had always been too much. Programmed with such intense feelings from day one.

The Tomlinson family had been so upset by their loss, that they had RobotLouis made a couple days later. Even at first it was uncomfortable. He could never fill the role of their son, not when he had his own personality that was so different from HumanLouis's.

He had tried so hard to be like him but little slip ups made the parents very angry. It was impossible to live up to the impossible standards they had set. But they started off kind and would correct him if he made a mistake.

It didn’t take them long to realize he was never going to be their son and that’s when they started treating him differently. Any kindness they had recently shown had vanished, he was just a reminder of what they lost. Corrections in behaviour took a violent turn and the parents didn’t like him in their sight. The youngest of the siblings would sneak food and bandages to him when the parents were out.

The big turning point happened around the one year mark of him being with the Tomlinson's. It was during a family dinner when Louis had said a comment offhandedly that outed him.

The wrath of the parents was something that Louis hoped he would never feel again.

They were furious that their replacement son had also come with a 'defect'. Needless to say, he was told to leave the house and to never return.

Louis had been homeless for a while before meeting Liam. Living on the streets and trying to sat away from the people who took apart rejected android and sold them for scrap. Liam had been the light in his darkness. Liam with his big heart had offered him a place to stay after seeing Louis shivering outside in the cold winter. They noticed how alike they were and they had quickly become friends. That was two years ago and now they share an apartment where Louis pitched in on rent. Liam is the closest thing he has ever had to family, but if he knew that Louis was a robot that would all go away. Louis secret had to be protected, he couldn't lose Liam or Zayn. He couldn’t lose the only people he had.

"Louis get your ass out here" Niall's distinct voice yells from down the hall and snaps Louis out of his thoughts. He must have been trapped in his thoughts much longer than he expected.

Shaking his head Louis leaves his bedroom and walks into the kitchen to see everyone already starting to eat pizza. Louis eyes up the new face in the room appreciatively, this must be Harry. Liam had forgot to mention that Harry looked like a sex god.

"Hey, if you ate mine you’re not allowed back" Louis said shoving Niall away from the pizza. He was returned with Niall's loud laugh.

"Wouldn't dare to touch your pizza Lou" Niall responded smirking. "Oh! Louis this is Harry, Harry this is Louis" Niall introduced with a mouthful of pizza. Harry made a disgusted face at him and Niall gave him an apologetic look. Harry looked at Louis and Louis was stunned at the colour of his eye, Liam had said they were green but not this green.

"Hey" Harry says with a smile and Louis eyes softened a bit when two dimples appear. "Hey" is the only response Louis can say. Niall laughs loudly at both of them. Causing Louis to blush before quickly grabbing a couple slices of his pizza.

"What movie are we watching?" He asks as they make they make their way into the living room to join Zayn and Liam, who have food already.

Zayn says a movie title that Louis has never heard of so he hums a response around a mouthful of food.

 

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The night was going well, the movie they were watching was about halfway through and they were stuffed on pizza. Harry had fit into their group perfectly. He had a great sense of humor and the conversation flowed easily between all of them. Louis felt himself relax and enjoy the atmosphere.

It was all going perfect until a certain scene started playing. One of the main characters was going through a rough time and Louis freezes when it all starts to seem too familiar. Flashes of emotions flit through Louis. The teen reaches for the bottle of pills and starts taking one, then another and another until the whole bottle is empty.

 

Louis is shaking but can't look away.

 

Louis stares as the teen reaches for another object. A horrible flashback from when HumanLouis died overtakes his mind and it all becomes too much. Louis shuts his eyes as he starts breathing erratically. All he can feel is how upset HumanLouis was, and the pain oh god the pain. His chest is on fire and his mind is screaming and he can’t tell where his memories start and where HumanLouis ends.

Liam is calling his name and when Louis manages to open his eyes the movie is paused and everyone is staring at him. They are all looks of concern and Liam’s hands are on his shoulders. Louis shrugs them off and grabs the smokes off the coffee table, not caring if they're his or Zayn’s, and heads out to the balcony without saying anything.

 

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Sitting on the ground so his back is pressed to the wall Louis tries to control his breathing.

 

'This is stupid, why am I breathing hard. I don't even have lungs, I don't even need to breathe' Louis thinks to himself but he knows it's due to the triggering memories. He scrubs at his face frustrated at himself.

Harry comes through the sliding door and sits down, facing him. He doesn't know why, but in a calming voice Harry gives Louis instructions to slow his breathing. Not knowing what else to do, Louis follows his suggestions.

It slowly starts to work and Louis pulls out a cigarette. He goes to light it but his hands are shaking too badly that he almost drops it. After swearing a couple times. Large hands take the lighter and help him light it. Louis takes a drag and feels his body relax at the feeling. The last dregs of anxiety leaving his body. He gives Harry a small smile and a quiet "thanks".

Harry's smile back is breathtaking. "Do you have anxiety attacks often?" He asks curiously. Louis shrugs, flicking the end of his cigarette in the tray. He knows Harry probably doesn’t care he’s just trying to make small talk.  Watching the ashes falls he replies a moment later "only when a memory triggers one" he answers honestly.

 

"Yeah Liam explained you had a bad past" Harry says and Louis feels uncomfortable. What else had Liam told him? He didn’t like feeling like he was that fragile but unfortunately he was. "Where did you learn those techniques?" Louis asks because they were actually helpful and he wanted to change the subject quickly. "I'm in med school" Harry says so nonchalantly that Louis chuckles.

"Lucky me then" he says before putting out the cigarette and standing up. He offers a hand to Harry and helps him up as well. "We should go finish the movie" Louis says opening the sliding door.

Louis sits beside Liam and is quickly hugged close to his body. He sends him a smile letting him know he's okay. They start the movie again but Liam is still giving Louis worried looks when he thinks Louis can’t notice him doing it. He just cuddles closer to Liam and tries to figure out how he got so lucky to have such an amazing friend. The rest of the movie is fine though Louis is nodding in and out of consciousness the whole time, his mind exhausted. That’s until another scene pops up reshowing the previous scene that had Louis all worked up. Louis freezes, his mind fully awake. His skin itches and his chest feels heavy. He can't take it anymore, he has to get out of here.

"Hey Liam I just remembered, I have to run to the store to get something" Louis says in a tight voice. No one is fooled. Louis tries to wiggle out of his hold but Liam just tightens it.

Liam looks at him pleading with his eyes "Louis don't do this" he begs. No matter how much it hurts, Louis shrugs him off and says goodbye to the boys. He grabs his wallet off of the side table and leaves.

 

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Louis knows he probably shouldn't have left like that, but the alcohol ebbs away at the guilt. He hates it but Liam's is probably use to this by now. He finishes off the bottle and tosses it into a bin. He’s vaguely aware of where he is right now. He’s not afraid of the streets at night, he’d already seen the worst when he was living it. Even without the experience, this sort of thing happened often enough he knew his way around pretty well now.  Every time a really bad attack happens, Louis leaves for a few hours and comes back completely wasted or donning a new tattoo.

 

This time he's chosen both.

 

Stumbling into the apartment sometime in the early morning he traces the newest addition, a set of quotation marks on his wrist. He was supposed to be programmed to be the perfect son, to be HumanLouis. Say what he would have said and done what he would have done. But he fucked that up. He doesn't have a set dialogue, the programmers didn't work hard enough or the Tomlinson's couldn't afford it. He would bet on the latter.

The quotation marks were now his constant reminder that he is his own person no matter what he was initially intended for.

He’s trying to be quiet as he walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. Next thing he knows, he is faced by Liam who looks like he can't decide if he's mad or concerned. He knows that he didn’t wake Liam because he had always been a deep sleeper. Louis feels guilty because that means that Liam had waited up for him.

"What did you get now" Liam asks, apparently deciding on not being angry. That makes Louis feel bad for a minute before the alcohol washes it away from his mind. Louis walks closer giving him a dopey grin and shows him his wrist. Liam's eyebrows furrow as he looks at the simple tattoo. "Why is it an empty quote?" Liam's asks confused, looking up at Louis with his big brown eyes. Louis has no filter when he's drunk but he regrets what he's about to say as soon as he says it "Because I am defective. I was made wrong li" he says downing the rest of the water.

 Liam obviously doesn't understand what he's saying and sighs. He takes the glass from Louis and sets it on the counter. He looks Louis in the eye until Louis starts to shift uneasily, “are you okay Lou?” he whispers. Louis feels his smile and eyes harden as he responds “I don’t even know what okay is anymore Liam”. Liam’s eyes soften with concern and hugs Louis close. Squished up against him, Louis lets himself relax against the hold “Just don’t leave me k, li?” he mumbles sleepily against his chest. Liam hugs him tighter and Louis can feel something wet hit the back of his neck “Of course not Lou”. Somewhere in the back of his mind he notes that he just made his best friend cry but he’s already falling asleep. Liam feels Louis slump against him and adjust his hold so that he can carry Louis to bed.  He tucks him in and presses a kiss to his forehead. He brushes the hair out of Louis face and wishes that he could erase his friend’s sadness.

Knowing that he’s done all he can he leaves to go climb back into his bed. Zayn rolls over when he lies down and cracks an eye open. “He home?” he asks, voice full of sleep. “Yeah” Liam replies laying his head onto Zayn’s chest. Zayn exhales and wraps his arms around his boyfriend kissing the top of his head. “He’ll be okay babe”. Liam hugs him tighter and closes his eyes. “I hope so” he whispers back.

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The next morning Liam makes breakfast and tries to control the look of concern on his face, Zayn just asks to see the new addition and Louis spends the rest of the day with them on either side watching reruns of friends. Louis is just waiting for the bottom to drop out because his life can never be this easy.

It isn’t until a couple weeks later until things do just that.

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Louis is just getting off work and making his way home on the bus. The rest of the guys including Niall and Harry were already over for a games night. Louis makes it home and is greeted to loud voices that are unmistakably the ones of his friends. They’re yelling but Louis can’t make out what it’s over.

He opens and walks quietly into the living room to see all the boys crowded around a laptop.

"I just don't understand" Liam whispers. Louis is behind them now but their bodies are blocking the screen. Louis rolls his eyes because Liam is very technically challenged and something must have happened to his computer. "Don't understand what?" He asks curiously, knowing that he could probably fix it. They all jump and look at him wide eyed. He's confused at their reactions, they all look guilty. That’s until he looks down at the screen.

The web page that’s pulled up has the obituary for HumanLouis displayed across it, complete with picture. Of course there is no way to tell the different from the picture, they look the exact same. Louis takes a step back, he feels his breathing pick up. They weren’t supposed to find out, especially not this way. No this wasn’t good at all. His hands start to shake and he looks at his friends who try to avoid eye contact. "We were worried about you, and since you never talk about it we wanted to know you're past so we googled you. We just wanted to help." Niall finally says looking sheepish.

 

"How do you explain that you died 3 years ago?" Zayn asks bluntly. It's always hard to read Zayn but he looks pretty angry at the moment. He’s never be the receiver of Zayn’s anger before and it hurts that he’s already turned his back on Louis.

"I didn't die 3 years ago" Louis says automatically.

"Come on Lou, are you really trying to tell me this isn't you? It looks just like you and has all your information" Liam shoots back. Louis flinches, he wasn't ready for Liam's anger.

"That's not me" Louis says quietly, traitorous tears escaping.

"Bullshit" Zayn yells and Louis flinches so hard he takes a step back, like it had physically hit him. Louis takes a deep breath before responding.

"That's not me. I was created three years ago when the real Louis Tomlinson died". He figured he’d tell the truth, they already were going to tell him to leave anyway. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"You're one of those new robots aren't you?" Harry asks looking at him curiously, of course he would be the one to know. Louis nods slowly feeling like his whole world was ending. It was all in the open now. His secret revealed and now he had to deal with the fall out.

 

Wiping his tears, he struggles to breathe normally so he can talk. "I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out this way. I'll leave now" Louis says quietly looking at the floor before making his way to the door. He’ll figure it out, he has before.

To his surprise an arm reaches out and stops him before he can make it there. He is even more surprised when he is pulled into a hug that smells like Liam.

"I don't care, you're not leaving you idiot" Louis is shocked. “Sorry I snapped, I’m not angry. I’m just hoping you’ll explain” Liam says rubbing his hand up and down Louis back trying to calm him down. Louis nods against his chest. “You’re not going anywhere Lou” Liam whispers knowing exactly what Louis needs to hear and for the first time, Louis lets himself feel a flicker of hope.

 

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Louis explains his past to the boys, skims over some of the more graphic details but they all seem to understand that. He even explains exactly why he had run out during that movie the other week. The conversation ends in a massive group hug where Louis isn’t sure where one person starts and the other ends. He feels so loved and welcomed it seems all like a dream.

He also answers all of their question about being an android, which included "yes Niall just because I'm a robot I still have a dick". Harry choked on his pop when he responded to that one and Niall laughed harder. They all took it surprisingly well and when Louis voiced this thought, Liam looked him in the eye and said that being a robot didn't take away the last two years of friendship. Zayn agreed. Louis hadn't ever felt so relieved.

Sitting on the couch, eating pizza and watching cartoons Louis is finally at peace. He doesn’t have to hide who he is and doesn’t have to keep his past bottled up. He can finally tell his friends about what’s bothering him and he can finally start living his own life. Harry puts his arm over Louis's shoulder and Louis snuggles in closer. Harry’s thumb brushes across Louis’ quotation mark tattoo and feels his heart warm. He’s finally his own person with people who love him for just that. Louis lets himself breathe freely without the burden of his secret. He smiles when he can feel Harry's laugh echo through his chest.

 

Yeah things were going to be okay.


End file.
